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Last night a funny thing happened.
I crawled into bed at the close of my day and instead of my usual routine of worrying, praying, fretting, repenting, believing (yes, in that order) while I should be trying to fall asleep, I felt something very strange… contentment.
It. was. awesome.
It was also unexpected! I don’t know where this warm, peaceful contentment came from. It’s not something I usually feel. I mean, I’d like to feel it more. In fact, I want to feel it more!
On second thought, maybe I do know where this wave of contentment came from. Because last night as I lay my head upon my pillow, it was as if I could clearly see the future. I could see the path God had us on. I could see where it was headed and all of a sudden that future shined a bright telling light on today.
Suddenly I knew that today was important. Suddenly I realized there was value in today. Our current struggles, our current positions, our current situations were shaping us for that future I saw. And that made today good.
It sounds cliché, and I know we all know it… today prepares us for tomorrow. But today, I was okay with today. Instead of wishing for tomorrow, like I normally do.
Today I am content.
I’m content that we are in today and not tomorrow.
I’m happy that today I get to stay home with my kids.
I’m thankful for the struggle today to pay the bills (as weird as that sounds).
I’m blessed that today we are in this season of life.
I’m content with today just the way it is.
Like I said, this is a new feeling for me. I’m ashamed to say I don’t usually feel such contentment. I’m always thinking of tomorrow. The next thing. The next step in our lives. The next way to make ends meet. But not last night. And not today.
Yes, I was surprised to see that this lovely thing called contentment was still with me today. I guess I thought it was a fluke. That surely last night was a moment of peace, not momentssss that would carry me through today, as well.
But as I sit here snuggled under my blankets (cause it’s cold outside!) and listen to my kids in the house and think about what our future may hold, I’m just so thankful for this moment. Thankful that God holds this moment and the next moment and the next in His strong, very capable hands. Thankful that He knows our future and that the situation we are in today is exactly what will shape us for our tomorrow.